You may think moving overseas with your partner won’t affect your relationship, but a life change of this magnitude test even the strongest unions.

While some couples start a new life in a new country and do come out of the experience stronger, other couples find themselves struggling to keep things together after a while.

The reason why some relationships fall apart? Packing up your life and moving to another country is stressful! You’ll have a million things to tick off your to-do list in the application stage and have to deal with culture shock, uncertainties and homesickness in the settlement phase.

None of this is impossible to overcome though, as is evident in the many relationships that do survive a move overseas.

Here’s how the successful couples do it:

They communicate

Relationship experts all agree that communicating effectively is key to having a successful relationship. Keeping the lines of communication open becomes even more important during a move to a new country.

What you do:

Raise your concerns, fears and worries. That way both partners know what kind of headspace the other one is in and you can support each other. It also prevents little issues from becoming huge arguments.

Don’t forget to mention the good stuff too, whether it’s complimenting your partner on how they handled a visa issue or sharing a story after your first day on the new job.

Balance is key!

They have common goals

Not everyone find living and working overseas appealing for the same reasons. For some the drawing card is making lots of money, while others see it as an opportunity to travel more. These goals aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive, but when there is no compromise, it’s a recipe for disaster.

What you do:

Sit down and discuss what each of you are hoping to get out of your time overseas. In an ideal world, you’ll have the same goals, but if you don’t, discuss how each person can compromise a little bit to give the other one what they want.

They have a plan

It’s not just having a plan but working on the plan together, so that both partners are on the same page.

What you do:

Start from the beginning, from the visa application. Then work your way right through to finding a house once you’re in your new country.

Your list should also include who’s responsible for what, so that things get done but more importantly, so that both partners know who’s responsible for what. That way there doesn’t have to be ‘But you were supposed to do this’ fights.

They make big decisions together

You may be responsible for finding a new home, but you should never sign on the dotted line without first speaking to your significant other. Life-defining decisions should always be made together.

What you do:

Exactly that – make the big decisions, like where to stay or whether you’re going to buy or rent a house, together. Sit down, go through all the details together and make a decision before going on with your day.

They make time to have fun

Successful couples know that emigrating can’t only be hard work and make time for some ‘time out’ along the way.

What you do:

You set aside time to relax while going through the motions of moving. Go see a movie, have dinner with friends or go hiking, whatever takes your fancy.

Once you’re settled on the other side, take time out to visit the tourist sights, explore your neighbourhood and taste the local flavours.

They spend time apart

Most couples are not used to spending all their time together or being dependent only on each other. Most couples also know that not taking a break could eventually lead to frustration and tension.

What you do:

Take a break and give each other some space at least once a week. Go have a coffee at a corner café, go see a movie, explore a part of the city on your own or join a hobby group. Your options are virtually endless!

They reach out

Being homesick and lonely happens to couples too, so couples who do it right reach out to new friends, but also keep their ties with family and friends back home strong.

What you do:

When you miss home, send a text to a loved one or arrange a Skype call. When you want to make new friends, reach out to other expats or join a Meetup group.

They decide if and when they’ll return home

Unless it’s a temporary work contract, with a definite end, the question of when to return home, or to do it all, is sure to pop up. Unless both partners are clear on the answer, this issue could lead to fights down the line.

What you do:

Discuss if your stint overseas is permanent or temporary. If it’s temporary, how long do you want to stay? Talk about what happens if one of you decide it’s time to go home, despite all that’s been discussed. Also chat about the possibility of moving to more countries.

In summary…

The most important thing you can do for your relationship when moving overseas with your partner, is talk. Talk about how you want this adventure to play out, talk about your feelings and definitely discuss the big decisions.

When you keep the lines of communication open, your relationship is sure to survive The Big Move.

You have to be meticulous when importing household goods to New Zealand, because the government is known for being strict about what enters the country.

To simplify the process for you, we’ve scoured the internet and found the essential pieces of information you should know when emigrating to New Zealand:

• The steps in the process.
• The required documentation.
• Restricted and prohibited items.

Let’s start with the steps in the process:

Importing and clearing your goods

When importing household goods to New Zealand, you must do the following to avoid border clearance problems:

1. Prepare an inventory:

A detailed inventory listing all items in the consignment must accompany your shipment. You must also list and declare the necessary items.

2. Complete the necessary declarations:

You’ll need to complete an Unaccompanied Personal Baggage Declaration form if your personal items are shipped by sea or by air.

Should your shipment contain goods that pose a biosecurity risk, it’s advisable to complete a Personal Effects Supplementary Declaration. This declaration provides more information about specific items and could change the risk status of your consignment.

3. Clearance of your items:

You can clear any household or personal items yourself, you would just need to give New Zealand customs the required documents (listed below) by mailing everything to your nearest Customs Office.

If your shipment arrives in New Zealand before you do

Should your belongings arrive in New Zealand before you do, you must authorize someone else to clear your shipment on your behalf. This person will need:

• Written permission from you to clear the shipment.
• Photocopy of the biographical page of your passport.

Please note that having someone else clear your consignment may result in extra charges.

Required documentation

To get customs clearance for your belongings, you must submit:

• A completed NZCS 218: Unaccompanied Personal Baggage Declaration.
• Any permits you need, for example:
  • Permits to import firearms.
  • CITES permits.
  • MedSafe permits.
• Your passport and/or evidence that you’re allowed to live in New Zealand. This would be your visa or permit.
• A full inventory.
• The shipping arrival papers, for instance Bill of Lading, Airway Bill or Arrival Advice.
• Clearance from the Ministries of Primary Industries.

Restricted and prohibited items

The following items must be accompanied by official certification:

• Any packets of food.
• Honey, pollen, propolis, honeycombs and other bee products.
• Plants, bulbs, cuttings, corms, rhizomes or tubers, commercially packed seeds and seeds for planting.
• Packaging such as straw or used fresh food cartons.
• Items restricted under CITES such as coral, ivory, snakeskin or whale bone items, turtle shell and some sea shells.

In closing on importing household goods to New Zealand…

The information above is only the essential details to know, but there are still more to be aware of. You can go to the website of the Ministry of Primary Industries (MIP) for more information and for the forms you’ll need to import your personal belongings successfully.

Sources: MIP and New Zealand Customs.

Moving abroad with your family can be the best of times, but also the most testing of times.

However, you can come out the other end in one piece! It’s not impossible. Especially not with our survival guide by your side.

We’re going to tell you what to do:

• Before you move; and
• Once you’ve arrived.

You’re moving!

It’s the day you’ve been waiting for – your visas have arrived. Suddenly it’s all too real and your mind starts racing. Instead of trying to do a million things at once, start here:

Share the news

Instead of telling the family in a throwaway manner, call a family meeting and share the news.

You’ll find that children, especially older ones, may have a lot of questions and calling a formal meeting will give them the chance to get answers.

More than that, sitting down with the family will give you the chance to paint this as a massive adventure, to get everyone on the same page and excited.

Involve the children

The quickest way to get children on board when moving abroad with your family, is to make them part of the process. It will make them feel like they have a say in what’s happening to them.

You can:

• Ask for their input and give regular updates on developments.
• Let them make decisions, such as which toys to take.
• Assign age-appropriate tasks to them.
• Let them help you pack.

Get to know your future home together as a family

It’s safe to say that you have already done research, but now is the time to introduce the rest of the family to their new home. It might go without saying, but include the city and neighbourhood you’ll be staying in too.

Use the internet, country and city guides, maps, videos – whatever is going to make it a fun and interesting experience for your family.

Create a checklist

Moving abroad with your family is no easy feat! The only way to keep track of everything is to create a checklist.

A checklist does so much more than just spell out what should be done though. It also brings a sense of security and structure to a manic time in your lives. Plus, with everyone knowing their responsibilities, arguments are kept to a minimum.

Take care of the basics

You’ll need to find a house or apartment, get medical insurance and choose a school for your children. Do all of that now!

Perhaps you can’t enroll your children just yet, and you probably won’t be able to secure medical insurance just yet, but at least know your options.

You won’t believe how stressful it can be to leave these three tasks to last when moving abroad with your family.

Say goodbye

No-one likes goodbyes but in this case there’s no avoiding them.

Start preparing your children well in advance! Get them to say their goodbyes to teachers, friends and family, but not all in one go. When goodbyes happen over time, your children will get used to saying goodbye and it softens the blow just a little bit.

You should do the same, but without overwhelming yourself. Your schedule is going to be jam-packed, so squeezing in too much will only stress you out.

You’ve arrived!

The move went well and now you’re ready to tackle the new adventure as a family.

Make the new house feel like home

Unpack boxes with key items first and decorate with family favourites straight away. Think family pictures from your hold home, beloved stuffed toys and the well-worn living room couch.

Doing this will make everyone feel more comfortable, and more at home, in a flash.

Explore the neighbourhood

You’ve already done the research – now go out and explore! It’s another great way to make everyone feel at home.

If your children is still a bit sad about leaving home, make their points of interest the focus of your exploring. Go see what the local play parks look like, drive by their school and go to the beach, if that’s an option.

Stay in touch with family and friends back home

In the age of Skype, it couldn’t be easier to stay in touch with loved ones. Set up Skype chats as a family and as individuals, so that the whole family gets to speak to everyone they’re missing. Seeing familiar faces and catching up are great comforts.

In summary…

Involving everyone in the process is the best thing you can do when moving your family abroad. Apart from that, make an effort to work as a team, to get everyone excited and to make your new place feel like home as quickly as you can once you’ve arrived.